In my last two posts, we looked at how transforming the “way things always get done” can have a meaningful impact on your life and career success. And in my work with business development executives and teams, I see that transformation take place. It’s incredible how fired up people become, ready to take on challenges with new ways of thinking and problem-solving. They are excited to change their behavior and establish stronger relationships with their clients and employees.
The problem? Nobody cares. No matter how you’ve transformed, people are going to treat you like the “old you.” They will relate to you the same way, expect things from you the same way, and respect you the same as they did before.
So, why bother with the transformation in the first place? Because it’s how you’ve decided you want to be! But it will take some work in order for others to get on board.
Understanding Some Common Truths
Now that you’re all excited about changing the world, it’s time to factor in some truths as you engage the world around you:
* No one else will be fired up
* They didn’t go through the goal setting process you did
* They haven’t transformed their thinking or behavior
* It’ll take longer than you think for them to come around
* It will be more challenging
* You’ll get distracted with other fires to put out
* It will not be perfect
* It will never be over
These truths are hard to accept. Many times, I will see clients buckle from any or all of them, reverting to their old way of doing things…and of course, getting the same old results. However, understanding these truths aids us in our crusade. They bring objectivity to transformation. Believe it or not, they’re actually very important to experience. Here’s why.
The more irritating they are, the clearer your line of sight is to remain undaunted and unencumbered by them. It’s great you now see these barriers for what they are; just barriers that are surmountable. The opportunity you’ve committed to requires you to change your understanding of these barriers. It comes down to how you hold barriers. You either hold them as impenetrable or as a reminder of your new commitment to grow/prosper because YOU declared it.
Survival vs Commitment Modes
Barriers win when we go into our “survival-mode.” As noted above, this is when we abandon our new way of being in favor of that which is comfortable. In other words, you’ve survived this long doing things that way, maybe the known is better than the unknown. But does that feel right? Probably not. Why? Because deep down, you know this will only get you so far, get you only the results you’ve gotten in the past.
Barriers disintegrate when we go into our “commitment-mode.” This is when we stay true to our transformed values, objectives and goals, no matter what. Honoring our commitment to transform means sticking with it and keeping it moving forward. The barriers are there and your challenge is to figure how to move around them. My mother-in-law has a great expression, “Never add drama to drama.” Hold the barrier at face value, nothing more. Then check-in with yourself by asking how you’d feel by being unreasonable about the barrier and refusing to let it stop you. Each time I do this, I sleep better at night.
Remember that life is a series of experiences where you either go into survival-mode or commitment-mode. However, the more you can do the latter, the less the former will seem as comfortable. When you get to that point, you’ve transformed and are ready to take new challenges head-on!
Good success in your 2020 crusade, it’s worth it!